caput II

It's been a few years since I've approached this blog and it's certainly not for lack of something to say.  My life has so radically changed from that first post I've only now returned to writing down what is going through  my mind.
I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say since 2012 to now a series of events followed that devastated my health and robbed me of my ability to work especially in my beloved nursing field. I loved being a nurse. It's the kind of job you carry with you, kind of like being blue eyed or left handed it was just part of you and it colored how you responded to things both intellectual and practical.  
Also there were personal losses, deaths in the family preceded by loved ones with protracted illnesses and this kept me occupied as well. 
I've never lost my faith though I felt a keen association with Job. 
But God is good and my life has achieved a certain equilibrium again and I am at last in a good place. 
Everyday when I sit down in the morning and open my Daily Office Book before I even start my prayers I always smile close my eyes and say "Thank you Jesus" something my Aunt Della taught me many years ago..always remember to say thank you. 
I've lost much but I've gained new things, new places and new people. And while I would like to think that I'm in my happy place, the place I want to be till Jesus calls, I think I've learned that in so far as this life is concerned nothing is permanent.  We have for awhile and we loose again.  I suppose this is why the ancient Church Mothers and Fathers encouraged us that we not grow too attached to things because the only thing that was permanent in our life is what we create and develop inside us not what's outside of us.
I'm embarking on a brief retreat tomorrow I'm looking forward for the time to be alone with God, to be and express my gratitude to Him.  And also to receive whatever he has for me next.  I'll try to keep in mind the wisdom of the ancient ones, what we have inside is permanent what is out side of us is temporary.  Please God I keep my happy place inside me more than outside me.